So I was talking to this very attractive woman yesterday at a coffee shop. She initiated the conversation. While talking she kept playing with her hair, now I’ve heard that it’s a nervous gesture to do so and could indicate she’s attracted to me. But then I thought, “it could just be a habit.” Any thoughts?
Anyways, I ended up not making the move and giving her my number or asking for it. Which I then thought, “is ir douchey of me to give her a business card with my cell number thats already on it?”
So, I’m at Safeway doing some grocery shopping. While down the cereal aisle, I see a very attractive girl. I grab my Special K with Chocolate and strawberries like I always do. I glance over and kind of caught her looking at me.
In that second, I decided to go for it. I was going to strike up a conversation and then ask for her number. I simply asked, “How’s your day going so far.” She smiled and said, “Not to bad.” A few more lines of small talk about the weather and cereal and then I took the plunge. I asked her if she wanted to grab some coffee or dinner sometime.
Her reaction took me by surprise. With the face she made, you’d think she just found out I’d been stalking her and made a voodoo doll out ofnher hair. As her horrified expression formed on her face, my pride and ego took a fatal blow. She was too stunned to even say anything. As if SHE would ever be seen in public with me. Feeling defeated, I just said, “Maybe not…uh. Well…take it easy.” And i walked away.
So I wondered, “Was she offended that I even thought I had a chance with her? Was it that I asked her in a grocery store? Did I smell bad? Lol” Or, could it be that in this digital age of online dating and social media that a face to face conversation is extremely uncomfortable and awkward? Who knows….ah well. Maybe next time
Oh its bad. I actually put up an ad on Craigslist. It’s come to this. I was expecting a river of spam mail but all I got was just one. Even that makes me feel worse. How sad is it that I want spam mail just to feel wanted.
Online dating kills your soul each day you leave your profile up. I wrote a pretty good profile for myself and put up a few flattering pics, but get nothing. I check almost every hour to see if anyone has clicked on me and each time I check, my heart sinks a little more.
So I change my profile, make it a little more detailed and even add in witty things or quotes. Take even better pics. I get a couple of views. I build up the courage to send the first messages, but get silence as a reply. Not even a “Sorry, not interested.” Was it what I wrote? I wasn’t being crude or too straight forword. Just small talk about thier interests.
So now, what is the problem? Is it my pics? Am I not attractive? Or is it my profile. I’ve basically put my likes and dislikes all on there. Is there no one that has anything in common with me? Maybe it’s because I’m a single parent?
So I lay thinking…what’s wrong with me? So much to give, but no one willing to accept it. Appreciate it. Cherish it. Like everyone else, I don’t want to be alone. I want to experience love again. To make someone laugh. To have someone to come home to. To be wanted and needed. But according to the site, the women I’m most compatible with are not interested in me.
As days and weeks go on. I lower my standards with each log in. Just hoping someone would talk to me. I even message the women I have nothing in common with. And then the women I don’t even find attractive. And again, silence.
Now I lay here like a discarded toy. A shell of my confident self. Waiting…